Stressed out.

Damn stressed man this whole week, same thing everyday. Come back from school, take nap 2, 3 hours, straitaway do homework, study, when finally done, sleep, which is around 3am.. everyday.

Erm, im gonna do something i dont quite normally do... Yes, im gonna rant about my feelings in my blog like a whiner, but i just cant take it anymore....

Cried today at school, yea i know you dont hear that often. I bet outside all of them were like comforting me but inside laughing like shit right! Haha, cause they never see me cry in school b4. I dunnoe why i cry la, cause of the addmaths test. Everyone know's usually i wont cry just cause of a fugly test, i also feel ashamed.. turning into ___ they all, lols. Guess cause, haihh ever since came back to study in msia, its just been really stress. Everyday i have work to do and study cause of all the quizzes lately. Missed out on one months work okay, and i had to study and learn the chapters i missed out all by myself with very little guidance, some subjects no guidance at all. Addmath was one of those subs and i studied by myself really hard, well atleast i tried. Ofcourse i was scared for the exam but i thought i could do it but in the end i couldnt. I also feel like a total failure, if i tried really hard to study and i got bad results, then i should just probably stop trying the rest of the two years rite?

And I realized myself that maybe that wasn't the only reason why i cried... believe it or not ( i know its quite hard to believe abt the school stress thing already, to those that know me) but im also having other problems... I just feel im not as close as i was with her anymore, when i tried to make an effort instead i got the opposite result. With her and him too, cant stand to be in the same room anymore. Is this the part of our lives where we start to become distant? Im scared to think it, but i think so. And other problems also, i know it doesnt directly has anything to do with me but you guys are my friends, and yea so i guess it has something to do with me right? Im getting sick of it.

And stupid crap also happened last night. So i cried last night becuz of it. But, haih lately everynight also i cry, for no apparent reason at that time, in my room i just start crying or i have this weird feeling in my stomach. Soi guess, in school at that time knowing that im going to fail that exam and plus i feel like a total failure, it added up more to my problems and i just kinda cracked..

I aint gonna be sorry for whining on my blog, hey its my blog, i can do watever i want with it. yeesh why am i scolding you, grr fuck man. Was screaming the whole time before i cried in business studies, haih where's my jacket? I wanna scream again.

ANIWAYS, gong out with tiffany, sucelia and esther tomorrow to pyramid. Gonna watch Step Up 2!! HOT. But im low on cash, i asked my mom if she could start me on allowance cause she say i spend too much of her money -.- But finally its the bloody weekend. Las night didnt relax AT ALL. Cause there was stupid school on saturday then the remaining weekend strictly was doing work! Finally the stupid exams finish for now and i can relax for abit.

To some people- dont assume im regretting coming back to study in malaysia, really, i prefer it more than perth okay. I was already expecting to work hard to catch up okay, so dont go assuming im regretting. I dont for one sec.

To the ppl who cared, thanks for reading. Guess i appreciate it (: