love

This is what I get. I give this another chance and look what I get left with.

I said fine, I'll give this another try. and I'm starting to remember why I gave up in the first place.

Bullshit. All this. Yeah it might feel good for awhile, but ultimately? I don't know anymore.

Ofcourse I believe in it. Ofcourse I do. But should I really right now?

I turn to you for comfort, hoping for a laugh or two. It was all rather funny actually, from the beginning. But heck I felt like it, what's the worst that could happen.

Shit happens when you least expect it.

So this is what I get, when I let down my guard, cause I thought that was alright, and that was what's best. No more, I just have to believe in myself right? Why am I putting up with all this shit?

I was just waiting, seriously I was, quite patiently I think. For another reason to hold on. I want to get that feeling back, that feeling, to know, it's all worth it.

I always have to watch my back huh? There WON'T be anyone to catch me when I fall.

This is a reminder to myself.

It might seem like they care, and yeah sometimes they might catch you. But then again, they might just drop you again. Remember alright babe? To not let anyone break down your walls again. Embrace this feeling, because you've experienced this enough. You gave it another try but it hurts worst now that you did right? If noone can deal with it, fuck them okay? You're here to protect yourself and they should understand. It might seem like they care, and they might have genuinely. But it'll run out, sooner or later. Always does.

I'm not gonna promise myself, cause I won't be able to completely control my feelings, but for now I'll try my best to remain this way. Until someone else fools me again I guess.

Fuck, its hard to blog your heart out and say what you wanna say when it aint private. I need to get myself a private blog, hopefully I won't need to anymore though after this.

So much I'm feeling, but never was that good at pouring my heart out..

for now, FML.

But I'll still wait. Yeap, there are cracks but I'm waiting for some cellophane tape. You're still in there, somewhere. The you that made me smile. The you that makes me cry. No, not cry in the bad way, thats you right now. The you that made me cry, cause I just missed you too much and the thought of you makes me weak, in the good way. Not weak right now, in the pathetic way.

Anyone feeling sorry for me? Please don't. I've learned and I know, how to get back up on my feet. Ramblings of the pms me, so excuse me (:

Yeah, I know when I'm PMS-ing. LOL! See, I'm feeling better already!

Sorry folks, gonna resume my korean movie and drift to slumber.

Thailand boys here I come ;D

A little piece of heaven.

Leaving to Bangkok, Thailand tomorrow morning !

Hope I'm all packed, mom told me not to bring too many things so that we can fill our luggage with all the cheap clothes & stuff we're gonna get! Shopping mode ready to ON.

I hate shopping, cause there's the walking around just to look at nice stuff that I would wanna get but just do not have the money for it. But since its Thailand, I am going to LOVE shopping! Do not disappoint me!

And, I pierced my upper ear already! And it DID NOT hurt when I pierced it =D And it DID NOT hurt for the few days! But TODAY it hurts! -.- Yeah, it's swollen now ): Just when I thought I would be one of the lucky bastards lol. But this still aint stopping my dream of getting 6 or so piercings on my whole right ear ;D

Hoping for all plans in December to work out beautifully.

You had my heart, atleast for the most part.

Cause everybody's gotta die sometime.

We fell apart, let's make a new start,

Cause everybody's gotta die sometime,

But baby don't cry.

I gotta make up for what I've done,

Cause I was all up in a piece of heaven,

While you burned in hell, no peace forever.

Cause I really always knew that my little crime,

would be cold thats why i got a heater for your thighs.

And I know its not your time,

but BYE BYE!

"

So kiss me and smile for me,

Tell me that you'll wait for me,

Hold me like you'll never let me go.

I'm leaving on a jet plane.

There's so many times I've let you down,

So many times I've played around,

I tell you now, they don't mean a thing.

Every place I go, I'll think of you.

Every song I sing, I'll sing for you.

So kiss me and smile for me.

Brown eyed girl

Okay, let me try to remember.

Was finally over with the shitty SPM BM exam on Monday. The most stress exam I ever took ironically. Glad to get that over with. Then off to the salon to DYE my hair! I think it turned out alright, eventhough I really wished it was brighter :/ Ohyes, it's light brown. The color that I wanted since I was 12. Was quite close to dyeing purple, but I get enough people judging me as it is.

Can't remember what happened on Tues and Wed, think I went to Rack Cafe to foos and watched movies with Qiqi.

Thursday was Amanda's house with the schoolmates. It was an adventure before we got to Amanda's house I tell you (inside joke). Mom picked Nadine up from her place to send us to Rekha's. 3 of us and Nelson hanged out at her room then went to the mamak nearby to eat with Nadine driving Rekha's mom's very first car and I swear I thought I was going to die back and forth.

Chilled at her house for awhile then Rekha's mom sent us to Sri Melur and chilled for awhile for Winston to pick us up. Quick trip back to Nadine's house to grab the measuring cup and her handphone. Took awhile to finally get to Amanda's house and they all already started watching The Orphan. Hell of a good movie with great actors and a great story line and twist, don't forget the sound effects. Waited for the boys to go and buy the rest of the ingredients then we all started baking our cupcakes which in the end became muffins and while that Nelson made his caramel which is YUMMY when its hot, not cold and hard! Eventhough that's what it's supposed to be eaten as. All of us then jumped in the pool! Except Safia ):

Played catching and marcopolo like the little kids we were while coming out to eat the deelish caramel and muffins. Got to night quite fast so we all showered and chilled till Amanda's mom bought us back dinner, so nice (: Then her mom dropped me back home, the girls at Nadine's house and the boys at Subang Parade to grab the taxi. Thank you Amanda and Amanda's mom (:

Friday was Helo Bali with Zhiji, Reuben, Siew Lee and Leona. Vodka, tequila shot and beer for me! In the end didn't go to Maison, sorry Siewlee haha! Went to Racks to foos then Canai Cafe to eat our indomee, capati and shisha. Got back home around 4.30 or 5am I think.

Sat was a night out with my mommy! Love spending time with her when we can (: Went to state to eat the famous duck rice that I lovee! Satisfied! Then to Digital World to try out the laptop that I want to get. I HATE Digital World and hope I will never have to go back there ever again. Then we went to Mid Valley, hoping to watch The Fourth Kind but apparently the stupid Star Newspaper printed the showtimes wrongly. So instead of movie, we went to eat apple crumble and enjoy our drinks at Delicious. Hot chocolate with marshmallows for me (: Me and mommy have been having these talks about how we bloody hate people that judge us on our looks. I'm kinda affected about it, wish I could be more like my mom and not give a rat's ass!

Sunday, Safia and Nadine came over!! Thankgod they decided to stay in my house instead of going shopping at Pyramid. Pigged out on snacks (okay fine, just me) and watched The Proposal and Sex In The City in my room. Thanks for the company girls (:

Today, I got a surprise. It was supposed to be just me and Azaidi playing badminton at Holiday Villa then I was glad to hear Danial was coming since I haven't seen him in ages! And apparently another guy was coming. Went outside the house and saw Azaidi outside his car. I glanced inside the car and saw 3 people in the car sleeping. I was like 'how many people did you being wei?' and he told me to look inside the car la. I looked inside and saw Danial, Muhammad and Richmond (((: Hehe, was so surprised (:

So we played badminton, showered at my house and ate dinner at Salmon Steakhouse. I love that place la, great food at a reasonable price. We're always trying out each other's food hehe. Foos 2 games at Racks which was just not enough for me. The boys had a curfew which was just potong stim so they sent me back home, so I smsed Zhiji to go play foos. One car that I did not recognize was outside my house when he told me to come out, got into the car and was surprised (again) to see Villi! So 3 of us went to Racks and I could see some people were surprised to see me 20mins later with a diff bunch of guys. Played a few games and went back to my place to drink the Vodka bottle they left at my place. We were eating my ruffles and playing cards then Reuben joined us after. Had to drink it raw since there was no Sprite or Coke. Don't worry Siew Lee, still got still got!! Hope you feel better soon as well!!

Yes, I'm getting used to blogging again!

Sew this up with threads of reason and regret
So I will not forget. I will not forget
How this felt one year six months ago
I know I cannot forget. I cannot forget

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you.

The taste of freedom, taste like vodka with cupcakes

O-LEVELS IS OVERRRR !

Well, almost. One more objective paper on chem tomorrow morning, then it's over! But then there's the SPM Bm paper on Wed. But nevertheless, yours truly has started celebrating her freedom.

Oh wow, I'm actually gonna start blogging about my weekend! (:

So, after my Physics Paper 1, went to AC to foos. Yeah, I didn't study but foos instead.. again. Hey, you shouldn't stress yourself last minute anymore right? You know it, you know it, you don't, you don't! So after foos, was Addmaths Paper 2. Was easier than the first, that's all I can say. Straight went home, watched tv abit and got ready to Nadine's house for the BBQ!

Me and Rekha made babies! Me and Rekha cleaned squids! The bones were really cool, not the black ink though. After cleaning, marinating, stirring, wiping, and all those other things, finally got to seat our asses down and EAT! I was too busy foosing to remember to eat. So everything was just delicious! But, I didn't get to eat my squids, cause Scampi LICKED them -.- So after stuffing ourselves, half of us watched Jennifer's Body while the other half was trying to fix the curtain that broke. Everyone was screaming in the dark and the movie started for only 5 seconds. Hilarious! After the movie was done, went into the kitchen to find them playing Boggle so yeah Friday night was my first time playing Boggle! Headacheee wei!

Then it was drinking time, thought everyone how to play Flooop. I didn't even get a chance to mess up! ): Tried teaching them Thumbmaster but failed. Then we played Drink or Dare cause we just couldn't think of anything else. Why is it NOW only that I'm remembering all the drinking games..I'm missing the Bacardi Apple!

Drove to the mamak nearby to shisha and chill. We are all still wondering why it is so damn cold there. Sent the boys back and got back to the house around 5am, showered and me, Rekha and Safia who were sleeping over and Nadine slept straight. Woke up the next day and I got my nails painted with different colours on each nail. YAY(: Got ready and headed out to Curve. Met up with the rest at Vivo's and they have really good food there! Seriously doesn't look like much but really, the food is awesome. I had a Romeo and Juliet Pizza with a Cappucino, and they gave me a little biscuit! Went walking around the bazaar and we all spotted this BEEUTIFUL dress! (Don't worry, I know how to spell beautiful) But the movie was gonna start so we said we would buy it later.

2012 is, one of the best cinematic experiences I ever had. Something worth watching and something you DEFINITELY have to watch in the cinema.

Was so glad that they still had seats, for all 9 of us together, and it was pretty damn good seats. Cause we weren't able to book it the night before and I was so scared that it would be full. Guess it would have to be another day to watch The Fourth Kind and Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs.

After the movie, was Paddington's House of Pancakes. Lovelovelove! We all shared the sweet dipping thing. Can't remember what it's called but its the dollar pancakes. I prefer the american stacks though. And yes, Nadine, Safia and me bought the same dress!! It was just too nice. And no regrets, cause I tried it on at home (trying not allowed at the Curve Bazaar) and I just LOVE it! :D Anyways, Azaidi met up with us while we were at Paddington's. One by one everyone left, walked to McD to wait for the rest of them to go home. Then Hadi came to pick us up to go to OU for the Flyfm concert. Took a bloody hour to find parking so we were like fcuk it, just park at One World Hotel. Watched the concert for awhile then went to eat at the sushi place near MPH, can't remember the name. Had udon with the chicken thing. I just cannot seem to remember names. Got back home around 1am, watched House and slept for 12hours.

Woke up and went swimming with Jack the whole day. Was good to catch up! And it was good to swim after so long! After catcing up, went for dinner with him, Qiqi and their mom at Old Town. Food was good (: Prawn mee, chicken wings, fish head curry, pork satay and ice kacang!

Got home, watched House and here I am blogging. Sorry if it seemed liked I sped things up but I was getting kinda annoyed at typing. I gotta get used to blogging again :/

I'm missing the mash potatoes, pork ribs and cupcakes from the BBQ ):

God I'll make them pay,
Take it back one day.
I'll end this day,
I'll splatter color on this gray.
This I swear!
THIS I SWEAR!

:D

It's all getting abit tiresome.

Yes, I'm sorry that I was so forgetful!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, TIFFANY LEE!

So sorry, dear! But rejoice at the fact that I didn't get to do anything for him but for you, I got to belanja you char kuey teow and bubble tea back to school, saving you from the clutches of the school food! But in the end, you had Nando's as well. But atleast I made the effort, right? As I said on your facebook, I love you babe! Hoping for more years to come that I get to wish you Happy Birthday! Mwaaaah (:

Now hurry up and drive me around already, 17 year old!

So, the AAR concert was..... indescribable? Not in the good way though, in a I really can't say way. I found it stupid, that going there early to wait in line was a waste of time since in the end, everyone just PUSHED their way through. Everyone else that was WAY at the back of the line, managed to enter before us =.=
The weather as usual, was fcuked up. Hot. Then found out that we weren't waiting in line just now, but was waiting in line to be waiting in line. So was slowly pushing through the very huge crowd, with bodies of sweat sticking near you. I seriously felt as if I was about to faint. When we finally got in, we had to push ourselves AGAIN in attempt to get infront of the stage. Then, we were waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting till the bloody opening act could even come on. By that time, things started to stink and I thought to myself that this is a load of bullshit. I've already seen AAR live at the MTV World Stage, do I really need to see them again this close? I can just go to the bloody BACK of the crowd, away from everyone else and enjoy the show and music from the back. So with the power of the handphone, got Azaidi, Danial and Richmond to follow me out of the stinky crowd. And thank bloody god we did, cause it was AGES until AAR came out. So there we were sitting on the floor, enojoying the music and the drizzle, away from the bloody crowd (:
Managed to push myself back into the crowd when AAR was about to come on, by then I had calmed down and had my rest and drinks. They played the usual songs and by the last few songs I was at the front. When they finished, everyone was telling me to go back home but I was insistent on getting the free stuff they usually throw to the crowd after.

And, Katherine got herself Tyson Ritter's sweat towel which he wiped all over his body and crotch. HAHA. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want it. I was literally shaking my head to Tyson when he was asking the crowd if we wanted it. But he had to throw it over to my side and it was just so bloody close to me, natural reaction is to catch it right? I was expecting something, and true enough, exact thing happens just like the Panic at the Disco concert. Me and another 7 or 8 girls holding onto the towel for dear life. Instead, in less than 5 seconds (it took another girl 5 minutes to come up with the idea while we were all fighting for it) I was the one that suggested cutting it. And everyone co-operated! You know, instead of running away when a huge piece was yet to be cut ( which was what I did last time ), but I decided to be nice (:

F.Y.I : I lost my Panic at the Disco towel :X

Which was why I gave pieces of my towel to Azaidi's sister and her friend. And planning to give to Qiqi as well. It's just a sweat towel though, with Tyson Ritter's sweat... LOL. Just got it for the fun of it. But OHYEAHHHH unlike the Panic at the Disco concert, managed to get AAR's GUITAR PICK! WOOO! It looks freaking cool! Not as cool as the HelloKitty with boobs and 'AAR' behind, but still cool. There's a middle finger on it :D
No drumstick though. Damn, could have sold that for alot since I don't play the drums! But I'll keep the guitar pick!

Basically, if it wasn't for my certain someone and the free stuff, would be cursing the whole time about how I should have just stayed home and study. But it was okay in the end.

English paper was today, Nadine, Safia and Rekha found my essay about cockroaches and left-over pizza's cute. Hehh (:

This post is reserved for pictures of Graduation (:

The fireworks begin today. Each diploma is a lighted match. Each one of you is a fuse.



Class of '09. We fcuking graduated!



Thanks for the lovely two years 4 and 5 Theta. And not just to the classmates, but to everyone else. The familiar faces since entering Sri KL in Std.2 and the new faces along the way that got to be familiar. A lot of good times to be remembered and missed. The whole charade of hating teachers, loving them in the end, skipping classes, having enemies, making friends, staying in the toilets for too long, skipping P.E, laughing our asses as loud as we could unintentionally cause it was just too damn funny and so much more to name. Ohgosh, no more wonderful Sri KL nasi lemak!

But wow, seriously, everyone was just absolutely gorgeous and dolled up on Grad Night! And thanks again to Rekha and Nadine for meeting at my house first before walking over to Grand Dorsett (previously Sheraton Hotel which is still 30 seconds walk from my place). And to Qiqi for attempting to come to my grad cause she wanted to see me graduate. Really appreciate the fact that she tried, I can't think of anyone else that would do such a thing. Loves (: To my dear dear friends, make sure we keep in touch? But most of us are all going to Taylors College anyways!

Yes, I have finally made my decision, after two long thought-out years of where am I headed to after college. My dream college (I got small dreams) Taylors College, A levels course, Bio-Science, subs to take are Bio, Maths, Phsycology and Econs. This is the plan for now, but hey things can change.

And as usual, sorry for not updating. But I got a real good reason this time! O-levels is... happening right now! So I've seriously been a real good girl this past month. Intentionally started out to get my 5 C's for college but screw that I want the A's now! But I would be happy with B's as well.

And to reward myself for studying and staying at home all this time (except for the weekends not including last week) and for staying at home for two straight weeks, going to the AAR concert tomorrow which got rescheduled to tomorrow. Ey, shaddup okay? I've checked my timings and with going out tomorrow I would still be able to study what I need to study after. So, katherine needs her break alright!


Kay, gonna study a tad more and hit the hay ! Will upload the grad night and the pics from all this time when I can. But you can find loads on facebook anyway.

And Happy belated birthday to the birthday boy, Richmond Lim <3
For now, Happy Halloween!
BOO!

Why did you have to go !!

Just went to carrefour, and was looking for the chocopie that I so desperately wanted to try, and was so freaking happy when I saw they had it in carrefour and bought 2 packets... now

my 2 packets of chocopie
2 packets of ruffles
1 packet of hellopanda
and 1 packet of choc chip cookies

MISSING. Bloody fcuk, damn pissed off. Now, i'm just sad :/

Though I still got my
3 packets of rice crackers
3 packets of pepperidge farm cookies
2 packets of lexus crackers
2 packets of mr. potato chips
1 can of pringles
3 diff types of mango pudding
2 packets of cereal

I'm just so bloody sad cause it was the chocopie that I really wanted to eat. And now I really wanted to eat something chocolate-y but my damn hellopanda's got to be missing too. Apparently it's not in the receipt. HAIHHHHHHH. And my ruffles, zomg laaaa.

So, I got 3 days left of my high school days to enjoy. Seriously, WILL cry on graduation. Gotta remember to bring my contact lens solution on the day. And oh how I despise the fact that graduation is BEFORE exams. As in just FEW days before. And few weeks before SPM. Thus none of my hardworking buddies are willing to hang out after graduation or sleepover and what not. Since the hotel is right OPPOSITE my house. Well, too bad. They're just gonna be forced. We will karaoke the night away in my house! Sing all the sad songs and cry!

Alright, gonna go find anything chocolate. Maybe my pepperidge farm milano cookies.
><


*EDITED

CIBAIIIIII, EVEN THAT ALSO IS MISSING! AND I ALREADY POURED MY GOODDAY MILK INTO MY FAMOUS AMOS CUP. *&^%$#!!!@



Then you smiled, he got wild.

Summer's song

O-levels is two weeks away! Graduation is 1 week away! Prom is 2 months away!
So this is growing up? I'll miss you, high school.

This summer is coming to a close
and i'm starting to figure out that i cannot live without you
i hope you're thinking of me, cuz all the stars above me sing your name
i'll never be the same again

so please don't forget to call me
just to let me know you're doing okay
miles away from me

this summer was the best i've ever had
i never want to see it end, so let's pretend
that we're never going back home again
just say those three words i know you're thinkin
i'm sick of wasting time on these formalities
please never leave my side

so please tell me darling
why you're so far away
when i need you beside me tonight

rlkw, ily(:
as it says so on that shirt .X

Happy birthday Esther and Winston, again!

1st week-Didn't go to school cause majority of the school weren't going due to some people contracting AH1N1
2nd week-Closed down due to AH1N1
3rd week- Trials
4th week- holiday
5th week Trials

From where I left off right? And yeah was still going out during the weekends eventhough trials were going on. Think on some weekdays too, can't really remember.

Ohgosh the 1st, 2nd and 3rd week of sleeping at 7.30am due to no school resulted me in sleeping at 5.30am everyday even when my trials were going on. So I would sleep for just about an hour and go for my exam like a talkative zombie which is what Nadine called me. And DID NOT study AT ALL during that one week holiday, even on the Sunday night. Pretty much forgot everything. Boo, no more talks of exam for now.

She's my shortie and I'm her tall freak! Known her for 9years, she insists its 10years lol.
<3























Didn't manage to sleep at ALL Thursday night. Last time I saw the clock was at 6.10am then I crawled to bed to try to close my eyes. Felt like I lied down for half an hour and woke up by my alarm, 6,50am. Got ready and walked to school(as usual) not forgetting a quick trip to 7eleven for a can of coffee!
After my LAST Trial paper, met up with Esther, Tiff and Zhi to change to our clothes in the toilet and to make a 'quick' stop at Street Cafe before going to Pyramid to hang out and watch a movie. Surprised Esther by bringing her to Street Cafe with everyone waiting for her. Singed the birthday song, had cake and took LOADS of pics. I didn't upload all because it would just be too many. Zhi Lynn made some into icons and it looks great! But I'm not sure how to post em up so gotta wait for her to teach me and to do the rest of the pics. Thanks to Azaidi for sending me, Tiff and Gabriel to Pyramid since there was no place in Joon Jern's Myvi! Hanged out with Esther, JJ, Zhi, Jing Yu, Eileen, Tiff, Gabriel and Sarah in Wong Kok for just abit till their movie started. I SO did not want to watch The Final Destination unless its 3D okay! So met up with Azaidi and Nadine to do abit of shopping for Winston's present. Turns out I bought myself denim shorts and a cute red top! Hmm, shopping for myself, it's been awhile (: Gave Adidas a try for his present and Zhiji surprised me! Apparently he works there and he was responsible for finding Winston's present! Safia met up with us in Adidas then went to my house, Nadine's house and finally to the party.

Sorry that I'm not gonna upload the rest from the party. Just wanted to show you guys how my new outfit looks like (XD), the megacute cupcakes and the cool mirrors which was just ONE of the many fascinating things in the BIGGEST house mansion I have EVER saw/been in. Everytime we decided to take the elevator instead of the stairs, we would just always say 'How many times do you get to ride an elevator in someone's house!' Wow, didn't get to eat the whole day and before I could tackle the food, the boys asked me to drink a shot with them first. So, stupid me drank more than an ordinary shot. A full glass of raw whiskey, a glass of beer(I HOPE) that Winston handed to me, and a glass of raw vodka. And when I say a glass, I don't mean quarter or half of it, I really mean, a glass. Ate kinda little cause I thought there would be more food but was disappointed when I reached the end of the buffet line and was too lazy to go back to get more food. Hanged out with Nadine, Safia and the rest the first part of the night but how many times can you take a tour of the house? And it was a pool party, didn't wear my swimsuit for nothing! So hanged out with the boys in my class the rest of the night.

I just want to say Sorry and Thankyou to everyone. Yeah I'm dumb, for literally not sleeping, for starting off with an empty stomach, for not eating enough. Lastnight, was seriously a first for me, for it to get that bad. I don't really want to explain myself here but am just hoping that people will still see me as me.

Happy birthday!

The sweetest birthday wishes to Esther Chong and Winston Chew.

Happy sexy 17th!

Helloyou

Under the stars and the moon,
Baby, they were playing our song,
While the air breezed by,
And our lips touched.

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you.

Trials finish tomorrow today !
:D

Cause our lips,
Can touch.
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Our lips can touch,
Here.

Where you are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.


Just that, right now... I'm not so sure anymore.
*Winds down the car window and screams, 'BOYYYYYYYY!?'*

Yo !

Just came back from barcelona, yeah was supposed to go MOS but how are you supposed to turn down 4 bottles of bacardi lemon? :D








from TGIF's the other day. Isn't Richmond and my daddy just so cute? Just felt like uploading them, will try to upload the rest next time. Bahh will just upload some now okay?











Omfg this was when Maegan was back for hols! Now she's back at India. Miss her like crazy, have yet to go clubbing with her ):



































Pictures for the school magazine! Couldn't upload all of em, check out my facebook!

Enough for now yeah? Off to bed, 6am! Ohgosh it's raining!!!

*runs to save Jacky her cute doggie*